Conversation 101

March 12, 2011 at 12:44 AM 4 comments

Venus (very wistfully): “Don’t you miss me?”

Mars (very practically): “Oh, sure. But I’m going to see you in two weeks, so what’s the big deal? I don’t want to focus on missing you and then get all down in the dumps and depressed. And, you’ll be here in two weeks, so . . . “(verbal shrug)

Venus (a tad bit whiney; giving him a chance to redeem himself): “Well I know that, but . . . .  “

Mars (puzzled and clueless; totally not getting it): “Well, ok then? But what?”

Venus (very clipped, cold tone): “But nothing. Fine.”

Mars (recognizing that things are now not fine but wondering how and why): “Huh?”

[Sidebar: Why is Mars so totally clueless??? Why can’t he read between the lines? Why does Venus have to spell everything out to him???]


Deep breath.

Now, it goes without saying that here on planet Venus, Mars’ practical thought patterns and speech has at least 50 things wrong with it, but I’ll tickle-me-E.L.M.O. and spare you.

I know that some counselors and psychologists dispute or even reject the Men are from Mars – Women are from Venus philosophy, but I believe in it. Very strongly.

SM is from Mars.

My wonderful, darling, upbeat, positive, big-picture-seeing, positive-thinking, “I’m-ok-it’s-ok-yes-I-miss-you-but-I’m-not-sweating-it-because-I’ll-see-you-in-two-weeks-and-I’m-clueless-anyway-so-I-don’t-understand-your-need-to-hear-that-I-miss-you fiancé. Gotta love him.

I’m definitely from Venus.

His wonderful, darling, upbeat, positive, see-the-romance-in-everything, positive-thinking, “I-know-we’ll-see-each-other-in-two-weeks-you-big-jerk-I-just-want-you-to-tell-me-you-miss-me-and-whisper-sweet-nothings-in-my-ear-and-I’m-embarassed-because-I-want-that-from-you-and-disappointed-that-I’m-not-getting-it-and-wish-you-would-GET-A-CLUE fiancée. Gotta love me. (cheezin).

[Sidebar: How is it that when it comes to Mars’ and Venus’ conversations such disconnect exists between what Mars doesn’t hear even when Venus doesn’t say it? Is it that hard? Really??]

Though that particular conversation ended there, Mars and Venus kept talking. Many conversations and recriminations later, Mars and Venus both got a clue and arrived at a better understanding of each other’s thought processes.

Venus now understands that Mars isn’t a mind reader and can’t really know what she wants until/unless she articulates better, so she’s working on that. She’s learning that it’s ok to ask for what she wants, and that it’s really unfair to expect Mars to “just know” what she wants and needs. Venus is also learning that directness and practicalities have their place – even in conversation – and that she shouldn’t take it personally when Mars can’t see the romantic forest because he’s being practical and looking at the trees.

And Mars? He is now looking online for mind-reading classes and just picked up a book entitled How to Get a Clue: 10 Things Men Better Learn about Women. Gotta love him!

Join in the fray:

Are you Camp Mars – or Camp Venus?

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A Dog’s Life Do You Believe in Magic?

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. kenich  |  March 12, 2011 at 2:33 AM

    Wow… I wonder if he’s really doing that? If so, he’s trying super hard. 🙂

    Gotta love it!

  • 2. A Swirl Girl  |  March 13, 2011 at 12:09 AM

    Kenich, I sure hope so!!! LOL

  • 3. Jackie  |  March 28, 2011 at 5:26 PM

    I love this..but I love the fact that you BOTH recognize there is a difference and are trying to meet each other halfway. While I believe in the Mars and Venus thing too, Venus tends to not be comfortable asking what we want and why is that?? I find myself saying the same thing, “oh, nothing, im fine”..I too must work on saying what I need. When I was younger, I used to thing when we got a man, he was already supposed to know what we wanted??? Where did I get that from? But I have to give a little too and understand that Mars may express himself in different what so I can’t always think they don’t feel something because they don’t express it the same way..

  • 4. A Swirl Girl  |  March 28, 2011 at 5:52 PM

    Jackie, those are great points! Men are normally not as conversant as women, and they also do express themselves differently. If you look at the differences in how boy and girls are taught and socialized it becomes even more readily apparent.

    I found a great book that discusses how women don’t speak up for what they want. You may want to check it out:

    Let me know what you think!


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