Hitch Kiss

February 26, 2011 at 1:28 AM 9 comments

My friend Zee (the one who asked about baby knuckles) recently changed her dating status to “in a relationship,” and both of us are pretty sure he just may be the one. I won’t go into to all the reasons why both of us (including her BFF) think this guy is a keeper. Suffice it to say that he’s a perfect gentleman and has shown such consistency in all the major areas that Zee is pretty sure he’s the genuine article.

What she found particularly endearing very early on is the fact that he never tried to “force” a kiss on her. Not that she’s averse to a first or second-date kiss, mind you, but she LOVED the fact that Mr. Gentleman wasn’t pushy.

“Did you and SM kiss on the first date?” Zee asked.

Her question gave me pause – and made me blush.

“Ahh . . . well . . . .no, not the first date . . . ” I stumbled.

“All right, spill it!” she said triumphantly.

“Well, what had happened was . . . .”

Sidebar: [Whenever anyone says, “What had happened was . . .” then just know you’re in for a doozy].

I was living in Dallas at the time. SM had surprised me with a Friday night cooking class at Central Market. The class was for Louisiana cuisine (I know; thoughtful, right?) and attendees ate the meal they cooked. Afterward he escorted me to a co-worker’s 70’s birthday party waaaaay across town. We’d had a wonderful evening with a lot of conversation and laughs, and we felt comfortably at ease with each other. He’d been divorced for five years and hadn’t dated much; I’d been widowed for even longer than that and hadn’t dated much either.

He saw me to my door at the end of the date. Inside, my Shih Tzu Nibbles was going berserk, barking up a storm and pretty much embarrassing me. I saw my roommate peeping thorough a crack in the curtain with a grin so wide I could see all 32. And me? I stood there and tried to remember the scene from the movie Hitch, where Hitch tries to school his hapless client on the art of kissing after a date.

I closed my eyes. Was I supposed to lean in to him??? Was he supposed to lean in to me??? If he leaned first, was I supposed to follow – or was I supposed to meet him halfway? Was he supposed to lean first??? Wasn’t he supposed to follow my lead???? Or was I supposed to follow his lead???? Doesn’t the girl set the pace for a gentleman??? Was I supposed to pucker first, or was he??? It was our first date – was I even supposed to be puckering???? Nibbles, SHUT UP!!! I can’t think!!!! What did Hitch say the woman was supposed to do???

I finally decided to pucker and lean in first . . . and  . . . felt nothing but air. When I opened my eyes, SM had already bounded down the steps and was on the sidewalk – almost to his car. He looked stricken.

“G’nite . . . “he waved shyly. “I’ll stand here till you go in the house. And, uh, I’ll call you.”

I was floored. And mortified beyond belief.

“Good night!” I choked.

And dropped my keys. Picked them up – then dropped my purse.

Needless to say, I couldn’t get into the house fast enough. I stood there, waiting and hoping that the floor swallowed me up or I died from shame – I didn’t care which one came first.

I stood numbly as Nibbles jumped up and down on my skirt and registered on some level that he was ripping my brand new hose . . . but I was too embarrassed to care.

My roommate was on the floor, howling with laughter.

Zee was, too.

“You were literally standing there thinking about that movie Hitch???!!! Are you kidding me???”

Thankfully, SM did call me the next day, and he even showed up (we had already planned in advance to go out on both Friday and Saturday night).

We had a wonderful dinner and marveled at how much we liked each other.

“Man, I was wondering if you really liked me – the way our date ended last night was very weird” he said.

(The best defense is a good offense, right?)

“I know!” I exclaimed. “What in the world was wrong with you????”

He said I acted weird – and of course I said it was him. I had to tell him about Hitch, and I think that was the hardest I’d seen him laugh since we’d met. We came away with a great story to tell our grandkids-and my friend Zee appreciates her new beau even more.

And thankfully, we had our last first kiss.

Join in the fray:

Do you have an embarrassing date story? Leave a comment and tell me about it!

Entry filed under: Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , .

When a Man Loves (or Likes) a Woman A Dog’s Life

9 Comments Add your own

  • 1. keinich  |  February 26, 2011 at 11:24 AM


    Hitch?!? Really?!?! ROTFLOL.

  • 2. A Swirl Girl  |  February 26, 2011 at 2:50 PM

    A friend who chooses to remain anonymous sent this in:

    “I was on a first date. We went to the movies and it was too late to get dinner at the nearby restaurant so we resolved to have dinner another night and a movie afterward. Anyway, i was driving her home from the movie and ran out of gas. (enter embarrassment)”


  • 3. marie  |  March 23, 2011 at 6:54 PM

    i would have started tearing up if i had puckered up and he went down the stairs….you’re good. i always put myself in situations where i make a huge embarrassment out of myself….i haven’t dated yet but i fear i would do this all the time….you have great stories….

  • 4. A Swirl Girl  |  March 23, 2011 at 8:47 PM

    Marie, to this day he SWEARS all I did was go to the door, say “Good night” and put my key in the door. He says Nibbles was barking LIKE CRAZY (and he was! lol) and that he figured I just wanted to get to my dog. He says I hurt HIS feelings!

    We laugh at each other every time either of us tells that story – and we both have our unique version! LOL

    • 5. marie  |  April 8, 2011 at 9:22 PM

      wow..really…lol men and their memory…let them tell it…we always do something….lol that’s funny…

  • 6. A Swirl Girl  |  April 8, 2011 at 9:44 PM

    LOL! Funny how THEIR version is usually different from ours.

    • 7. marie  |  April 8, 2011 at 10:10 PM

      exactly! soo different and a bit off cause i would say ours is more “accurate” LOL! but they never admit it…

  • 8. A Swirl Girl  |  April 8, 2011 at 10:32 PM

    OK??? Women are usually MUCH more detail-oriented. We can tell you what we were wearing, how we fixed our hair . . . .

  • 9. marie  |  April 8, 2011 at 10:48 PM



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